I know I've been blogging A LOT more than usual for me these past two days but hey, change is a good thing, right? (Or can be!) I'm sorry if I'm annoying anyone with the amount I'm posting but I just feel like writing a lot today, so my instinct was to go with it.
Me and one my best friends have just been discussing moving to LA for a gap year (we are literally discussing it right now) once we've both finished high school. Personally, I've never been up for taking a gap year but I've never not been up for it either. Of course, gap years cost money and time, and can potentially be extremely expensive but that, at present, is only a small problem to me in the equation. The real problem is, I don't actually know what I want to do specifically after or even before that gap year is over/starts. I have a dream of being in band but, in all honesty, I'm very doubtful and skeptical about that ever happening. Like I said in my previous blog post photography is another area of interest for me but I'm not sure if that's what I'd really like to do for a living or not. I quite fancy becoming a photographer for artists/bands whether that be taking photos of their concerts or of them modelling merchandise or anything they'd like/need me to photograph. I find photography very relaxing and calming, it almost is like being in a little bubble with a special lense that lets me see things in my own unique way and I have the ability to capture what it is I'm seeing. However, jobs in photography are few and far between and I feel I'd have difficulty not only finding a job but with getting into the course possibly (at Napier, Edinburgh) because it is quite hard to get into and the academic standards are high.
So all in all, I guess I haven't found a path for me yet. That's okay though, I'm only young and I still have a while to choose. Maybe I won't for a very, very long time but I'd like to think that won't be the case. I'm a very indecisive person so making big decisions is excruciating for me. I'm also interested in psychology but again I'm not sure if it's something I'd like to do for a living.
Being so uncertain about the future scares me - a lot. It means I can't really see what my life beyond high school might be like. That also excites me in a way. It leaves a lot of room for new opportunities and surprises that I may not foresee because I don't have a clue what my future will be like or where I'll end up. And I think if you too are scared by the big ordeal that is the future, you're better off looking at it in the way I just described. KEEP AN OPEN-MIND. Don't panic so much that you end up picking a university or college course to make the people around you happy or for the sake of it. Do what YOU want to do. And if like me you don't know, then that's okay too. Take some time out to yourself to discover what you like and don't like doing. Don't shy away from taking a gap year or two if that's what you want to do because you might go off to do something you don't enjoy at all and think "I wish I'd taken that year out to explore instead of ending up here being unhappy". Because you don't know what your gap year(s) might bring you. You might find new friends, new romance, you might even discover what you want to do and what makes you happy. If you have a dream or a passion for something, follow it (if you can) and make the best of it. Work hard. Uncertainty and indecisiveness isn't always a bad thing. It can sometimes lead to you making mistakes but they might be the best mistakes you ever make and they'll take you somewhere better.
So I guess the point of this blog post is it's okay to be scared of the future - it's natural! Hey, isn't everyone at least a little afraid of what's to come? Don't shy away from the things that make you happy. If there's a job you wanna do, set yourself up to give yourself the best chance at it. If there isn't a job you really wanna do, then go out and discover. Try your hand at things you like and enjoy. Don't pick something that's second best because we both know that that's only going to make you half as happy. Life is to be enjoyed, right? So do that - enjoy life. Keep an open-mind and remember it's okay to be scared of what's to come.
Thanks for reading and good luck. :)
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